Kevin Bloody Wilson -
 
Manuel The Bandito -   As Performed By Slim & Slimer [ Alias Chris & Steve  ]
The Resident Band At The Lincon Poacher Birmingham England
 

[ E ]                                                       
You ask me if I know Manuel the bandito 
                                            [ B7 ]
I know Manuel well and you know 
 
Manuel is the meanest and toughest and cruelest 
                          [ E ]
Bandito in all Meh-ico 
 
 [ E ]
Many men die from the arms of Manuel 
                                              [ A ]
His eyes they can cut like the knife 
                                    [ E ]
You ask me if I know Manuel the bandito 
   [ B7 ]                             [ E ]
Manuel is a good friend of mine 
 

[E [ 
Why only just yesterday, riding my burro 
                                                  [ B7 ]
Through the hills just off to the east 
 
Manuel he appeared like it seemed out of nowhere 
                                         [E ]
Pointing two big pistolas at me 
 
[E ]
He say: "Get off the donkey and empty your pockets 
                              [ A ]                        
Better you do like I said 
                                [ E ]
Or I pull on the trigger of my two big pistolas 
               [ B7 ]                          [ E ]
Blow fucking great hole in your head" 
 
[ E ]
So I empty my pockets, he say: "Not enough 
                                             [ B7 ]
I thin' Manuel just have some fun 
 
You, get around the back and you lift up the tail 
                                             [ E ]
And you kiss on the donkey's bum" 
 
[ E ]
So I do and I kiss and the donkey she shit 
                                           [ A ]
In a filthy big heap on the ground 
                                                          [ E ]
He wave the pistolas he laugh and say: "Eat!" 
               [ B7 ]                       [ E ]
So I start eating donkey shit down 
 

Chorus 
You ask me if I know Manuel the bandito 
I know Manuel well and you know 
Manuel is the meanest and toughest and cruelest 
Son-of-bitch in all Meh-ico 
 

So many men die from the arms of Manuel 
His eyes they can cut like the knife 
You ask me if I know Manuel the bandito 
Manuel is a good friend of mine 
 

[ E ]
But it's not just me frightened, my donkey is also 
                               [ B7]
This I can tell for a fact 
 
I thin' he remember one time once before 
                                               [ E ]
When I lift up his tail just like that 
 
[ E ]
So he started kick me and he kick Manuel 
                                        [ A ]
And Manuel dropped the pistolas down 
 
So I picked 'em up and I point 'em at him 
                                                   [ E ]
I say: "Hey, Manuel is your turn now!" 
 
[ E ]
You get around the back and you lift up his tail 
                                                  [ B7 ]
And come on Manuel you kiss his arse 
 
And you eat some shit -- see I leave some for you 
                                              [ E ]
Hey, Manuel, you thin' you so smart 
 
[ E ]
Still you ask me if I know Manuel very well 
                                           [ A ]
Well, amigo, what more can I say? 
                                                  [ E ]
Would you believe that me and Manuel 
                       [ B7 ]                           [ E ]
We had lunch together just yesterday!